Dead Mine Review by Bobby LePire. Edited by Courtney McAllister.

 

This Indonesian action/ horror hybrid has a great hook- a hunt for buried treasure in an old WWII Japanese bunker on Sulawesi Island, with our adventurers running afoul some ancient samurai and mutants. The movie is as cool and fun as it sounds, but it’s also really, really stupid. Really, really stupid.

 

We open with a guy waking up from a nap on a hammock. Don’t worry about his name, it’s unimportant. He walks out of the campsite, past his comrades, to take a leak. After finishing up, he picks up an odd metal contraption right near where he went. Who does that?! “Oh, hey, I know I just peed all over it, but let me pick up this thing I have never seen before!” is a thought exactly zero people have ever had; this movie is very dumb. After peeing on items to claim them as his own, Pee Boy then follows… I am not completely sure what… to an alcove near the old bunker. BAM! He’s suddenly grabbed from beneath and pulled underground, almost as if the mutants have a ‘Tremors’-esque motion vibration detection. But, this skill is quickly forgotten and only used one other time for a bad jump scare.

 

While setting up the baddies in an interesting fashion, this whole opening raises so many questions. Is this the first time this kind of trap has been laid for the people at that campsite? Are there no other souls around? How many other traps have been set? If the mutants could get out to set traps, why don’t they take the cities closer to the shore (there is at least one port city)? Why is this the opening, as we (almost?) never seen these people again? What human picks up items he/ she just pissed on?!

 

We are then treated to a pretty slick opening title sequence, and the introduction to our main characters-

• Warren Price (Les Loveday), the billionaire spoiled son of a corporate CEO, and the one that wants to find the treasure. And yes, he’s super wealthy and his last name is Price- dumb thing is dumb.

• Stanley (Sam Hazeldine), former soldier, geologist. Brought along to ensure the stability of the various mines and caves they’d be exploring.

• Captain Tino (Ario Bayu), the leader of the mercenaries hired to protect the team. Serious, but allows for fun to be had.

• Rie (Miki Mizuno), a research assistant who’s not there for the treasure, but to gain a better understanding of the war strategies implemented on the island during WWII.

• Djoko (Joe Taslim, of “The Raid” fame), hardcore badass fighter, with a snarky side.

• Sgt. “Papa” Snake (Jaitov Tigor), 100% purebred imbecile.

• Su-Ling (Carmen Soo), Warren’s significant other, total bitch, complete idiot.

 

No character really grows, or achieves anything beyond the stereotype you imagined when reading those character descriptions. They all end up in the positions you expect of them, and none have any sort of arc to follow. There are a few other minor characters, but they’re not memorable in any real way, so they’re just fodder.

 

So, in an above paragraph, I mentioned that we never see the folks from the prologue again, maybe. Well, our main characters find the bunker they’ve been searching for, and after a short time- during which Stanley is doing his job- they are ambushed and shot at by some random guys. I cannot idenitfy who the shooters are, and thus can’t state for certainty that it is the same people. Either way, it doesn’t matter, because why the hell are they attacking our core group to begin with? I have no idea!

 

This attack is what leads our heroes to be trapped in the bunker, so the real fun can begin. There are then long stretches of the group exploring, and getting to know each other… Did they not talk on the plane (maybe boat) ride over? Did they not have a meeting just so everyone knew who was there and who to protect? How do they not know each other yet? Stupid, dumb, idiotic screenplay is the answer, I knew that already, but man, how dumb it is, is a constant surprise.

 

Through various means, mostly sinkholes, falling off ladders, and escaping mutants, our protagonists are separated. Only once do they break apart on purpose, and even then, it mostly makes sense. This is a nice reprieve from the plot holes abounding everywhere else.

 

Loveday, Soo, and Bayu end up in a supply room, where they discover a serum. Having already encountered the mutants, they reason that this is what has allowed the creatures to live so long, super detect movement vibrations, and have impressive strength. Based on this, they conjecture that the serum must be the real gold, and is worth a fortune. Umm, what? That serum is 70+ years old, with no proof of having worked- the mutants were POWs that were extensively experimented on during World War II, so it could have been any number of those that caused their longevity. But, nope, must be this serum that none of our characters have seen/ heard of/ or knew about beforehand. My brain is ready to explode out of my skull with all the stupidity and plot holes piling up.

 

Joe Taslim ends up on his own, and gets to show off his amazing martial arts skills against an army of mutants. It’s a cool fight, but raises a few plot holes, such as:

• The samurai are holed up in a hibernation-like state, and are only awoken when they’re perceived as being threatened by Bayu and his men.

• If that’s the case, what’s keeping the mutants here? They are not answering to anybody, and the first half of attacks are all caused by them, so why do the mutants seclude themselves off in an area where food and the like is scarce?

• They are wearing muzzle-like masks (which is what Pee Boy found in the beginning), and those are only cut off by the samurai (which vaguely explains the above issue) but, they are seen eating their victims a few times, and once their muzzles are off, are no more (or less) of a threat, so what the hell, costume designers? What the hell?

 

Eventually, Loveday gets gravely injured, and since her IQ hovers somewhere around 2 points, Carmen Soo’s character injects him with the aforementioned serum:

• That’s her only vial, so if she wants any money out this, she just ruined that.

• She already knows that it turns any users of it into violent freakazoids (using this movie’s logic where it clearly had to be this serum that has allowed the mutants to live for so long). Thus, endangering everyone.

• There is no quick healing factor involved with this serum, nor have the mutants shown any sort of sign that such a thing is possible- they are killed, and stay dead. So, why did she inject him to begin with? I honestly have no clue!

 

To escape, Mizuno and Bayu jump into a well being fed by an underground spring. The samurai chase after them and clearly can’t swim, but their heavy armor doesn’t cause them to sink. NO! NO! No, movie! I can only take so much lack of logic and suspension of disbelief, and this is where I draw the line. Not possible, even by your universe’s rules, as set up by this point. How did they not sink or get seriously slowed down? How did they overtake Bayu offscreen? What is with this terrible ending?!

 

The final few minutes of this film are nothing but pure rubbish. As if those pages of the script got black paint all over them, but the cast and crew filmed the legible parts anyway. I hate this ending. It makes no sense, offers no semblance of closure, or feels satisfying in any conceivable manner. I’m not necessarily asking for a happy ending, nor do I need anything and everything all tied up with a bow and a condescending pat on the head . But I do need a point, reason, or aim, and this provides none of that. It’s just utter crap.

 

And here’s the kicker- despite the truly god awful ending, plot holes, and nonexistent characterizations, this movie rocks! The makeup for the villains is quite impressive. The mutants have pale yellow skin, black eyes, and webbed digits. The samurai have glowing red eyes, dark and dusty armor, and the one elderly (ageless? I’m not too sure) Japanese soldier still stationed there (I have no idea how he’s still alive), with his charcoal grey, wrinkled, weathered skin, and swish of crazy white hair looks as realistic as possible. They all look real and it is clear that a lot of time and effort went into the designs, and it pays off.

 

The acting is quite good across the board. Carmen Soo comes off as the worst, but I think that’s because her character is so poorly written that the fact that she’s somehow not completely punchable at all times, is a testament to what Soo brought to the character. Considering there’s no age limit on douchebaggery Loveday plays a spoiled brat well enough. Taslim really stands out, with an energy and playfulness that the rest of the cast can’t quite match; I mean there is a reason he’s broken out in “The Raid” and “Fast And Furious 6”. Miki Mizuno and Ario Bayu are almost as good, exuding a certain kind of confidence that allows the audience to readily relate to them and their supernatural encounters.

 

But, beyond the acting, costume design, and anything else, what allows this film to soar beyond its means is the (almost entirely) incredible cinematography and editing. All, but one shot, in this film maximizes atmosphere, dread, and sometimes just plain old coolness. After their initial trapping, the group crosses this bridge over a ravine, and the wide shot of them getting across does such an incredible job of conveying a sense of scale, but still keeping something creepy just out of view. It’s damn awesome. There’s a top down view, following the samurai trying to break down a door that is one of the coolest moments in the film, solely for the awesomeness that is that shot.

 

There is, however, one awkward shot that’s made all the more noticeable by the impressive skills on display everywhere else. After leaving the room with the serum, the camera doesn’t follow our heroes. Instead it pans down to the ground, almost like it’d be a wipe edit, but nope. It just hovers over the tile, looking at the door. It’s not creepy, doesn’t do anything, and is awkward and pointless in a Gareth Edwards way- which is to say, pure crap!

 

There are plot holes aplenty, dumbass characters, vaguely defined bad guy powers, and did I mention the plot holes yet? However, there are also some cool fights, an original story, solid acting, and some of the best cinematography and makeup work in a straight-to-DVD film I have ever seen. Do yourself a favor and check this out as soon as possible, you won’t be disappointed.