The Dragons Of Camelot

The Dragons Of Camelot Review by Bobby LePire. Edited by Courtney McAllister.

The last time director Mark L. Lester (of “Commando” fame) and writer Rafael Jordan (of too many awesome b-movies to count fame) collaborated, the result was the incredibly fun creature feature “Poseidon Rex”! Now, in 2015, they, along with co-writer Erik Estenberg, have brought forth “The Dragons Of Camelot”. There have been too many interpretations of King Arthur’s tale in book, movie, play, TV show, radio drama, and every other medium ever to name them all. Some have been amazing (NBC’s perfect “Merlin” miniseries), some have been downright lousy (2004’s “King Arthur”), some have been middling (“The Last Legion”). Where does this new tale land?

The plot takes a surprisingly original approach:
Upon his deathbed, King Arthur wishes that his son, Galahad (James Nitti), take Excalibur to Lancelot (Mark Griffin), who’s been down and out after everything that happened with Guinevere (Selina Giles)- who is now back with Arthur (for some reason). Meanwhile, Morgan Le Fay (Sandra Darnell) summons the king of all dragons, and asks to be given such a creature, so she can exact revenge upon Arthur’s legacy, during one of Camelot’s most vulnerable times. Due to an attack, Excalibur is shattered and must be placed back in its stone, so it can be fixed. This new quest sees Galahad join with the knights Sir Percival (Craig Ryder), Bors (Tom Latimer), Brolin (Andy Butcher), and Lady Dindrane (Alexandra Evans). Will Morgan kill Merlin and destroy all of Excalibur’s magic? Will the next true king be found in time? Is there in real mystery as to who that king is? Spoiler alert, no, no there is not!

James Nitti as our lead always sounds very earnest, which works 99% of the time- when delivering news about a fellow knight, and a good friend’s, passing though, sounding distraught/ sad/ sorrowful/ heartbroken might be a better choice. Despite that, he does make for a handsome and appealing lead, easy to root for, and seems to be quite capable with a sword. His chemistry with his co-stars isn’t too shabby either, especially with love interest Alexandra Evans and Camelot’s former champion Mark Griffin. For his part, Mark Griffin is very badass. Playing the Han Solo role, he has a natural charisma that makes us like him, despite playing a pitiful drunkard that can’t be bothered to help save the kingdom. I imagine it can’t be easy to make us enjoy such a selfish prick, so good job!

The lovely Ms. Evans handles a bow and arrow well (I do not know if giving the female warrior that was intentional- with “Hunger Games’, “Brave” and what not), and while her line readings aren’t bad, she constantly sounds too modern for the role. She has this cynical, detached attitude that just doesn’t seem to fit the time period of the movie. Sandra Darnell as the villainess is quite joyous to watch chew scenery. I bet very few others will enjoy her performance, but I think they’d be misconstruing what it is- Le Fay is a woman-child that has finally been allowed to play with the toys she longed for- her revenge is because she was firstborn, thus should’ve been first in line for the crown- and Darnell performs it perfectly. A scene where she’s walking around the throne room, exposition dumping with her right hand man, plays like a child just getting the toy they always wanted… and the child then trying to figure out how best to play with it first. It’s ridiculous, silly, and exactly what this movie needs.

The rest of the major players are all decent, with Andrew Jarvis as Merlin exuding a youthful energy that makes his old character feel alive and powerful. However, all of the assorted farmhands, tradesmen, barkeeps, and wenches that our group of heroes encounter are all rather uniformly awful. For every single one of them, they all feel like they are acting, which is a sign of bad acting. Luckily, the movie doesn’t take itself seriously at all, so this is more of a laughing at issue, than a ruins it one.

Lester, once again serving as his own director of photography, has crafted a bit of a mixed bag in this case. The action is filmed fairly well, even if the shots are super tight at times, to hide the number of extras. But man, the lighting is pretty terrible throughout the movie. It seems that most of the movie was shot using as much natural lighting as possible, but whatever kind of digital camera this was shot on, made that look like a cheap soap opera. This diminishes the wide, epic shots a tad, as well. The Welsh countryside does offer some stunning landscapes, which adds a sense of production value, that the lighting and set design are missing. Yeah, the set design is sparse as hell, so very little of the movie’s world seems to be a living breathing place, which detracts from the epic quest at hand.

In regards to the action, there is probably some kind of action beat every ten to twelve minutes, so things never get boring. The dragons, while very detailed, aren’t integrated very well into the backgrounds- there is no way that dragon was on that farm’s roof, it would have caved in otherwise!- but there are plenty of sequences with them, so that’s fun. Their design is very standard, but their scales are noticeable, they are intimidatingly large, and the way the dragons’ torsos glow various orange shades just as they are about to breathe fire is pretty cool.

All this brings me to the script. The dialogue is snappy and fun-

Galahad- “Maybe I’m in love, but don’t call me kid.”

Galahad- “Oh father, please!”

Lancelot- “You know, don’t call me that. Gives me the creeps.”

but the story, which is an interesting new take, totally baffles me as to its timeline and duration. Morgan Le Fay attacks the day of Arthur’s funeral (which I will be fair to the movie, and presume is a few days after his death), which I shall call Day Zero. Now, let’s see if we can plot this out in a sense making manner (definite spoilers follow)-

Day Zero- Morgan Le Fay attacks Camelot, which seemingly has no guards posted at the walls or gate. Galahad races back to the castle upon hearing the battle, and is attacked by a dragon. Saved by Excalibur (which is how it breaks), he flees into the countryside to find Lancelot and restore Excalibur.

Once again, giving the movie some leeway here, and presume he runs throughout the night.

Day One- Upon a country road, Galahad is ambushed by some highwaymen. It turns out that they are former Knights Of The Round Table, who have been forced into robbery. So did the Roundtable fall apart after Lancelot and Guinevere rode off into legend? If that’s what happened, then why is trying to repair Camelot now, as opposed to then, of such great importance? If that isn’t the case, then how did Le Fay manage to ruin everything so thoroughly in just about 24 hours? That night, our group has a brief encounter with a dragon, and while it’s nice that the movie doesn’t skimp on or hide the creatures, this run-in is very simple for them to escape, so the stakes aren’t really there.

Day Two- Our band of adventurers get to the last known residence of Lancelot. At the local tavern, Galahad finds him, and begs for help. Lancelot declines. Having a change of heart, Lancelot goes after the young lad.

Day Three- The knights wind up at a farm where another Roundtable companion works. Upon arriving, the owners of the farm complain about how they couldn’t be there to collect more taxes, they just paid last week, and that Le Fay has taken so much of their crop since she began her reign. Say what?! By my count, it’s been four days (day Zero counts). Even if I added in an extra day of travelling between day Zero and One, and between Two and Three, that still puts everything under a week! So, what gives? This timeline is very confusing, and we aren’t very far in.

Day Four- They arrive at the Stone, which a dragon is guarding. A member of their team dies in the ensuing fight. Lancelot can’t pull the sword out (no duh!), but Galahad does!

Day Five- Seeking shelter and rest, our group comes upon a small mountainside village, which was sworn by Le Fay and her cronies to never help a knight- and this, this makes perfect sense, even if it all was the same day. Le Fay could have sent out her minions, or used magic (or both), so good job, movie! And I am not being sarcastic, I actually think this is a neat and sensible plot point.

Day Six- Because the villagers helped the good guys, a dragon attack occurs. They run for their lives, to the nearby ruins of a castle. There, a way to defeat the dragons quickly is discovered- flaming arrow into its mouth just as the winged thing is about to spit fire.

Day Seven- With Excalibur back in action, and rallying a small army of revolting peasants, our heroes mount an attack to reclaim Camelot, for all that is good. The mega dragon from the beginning is the one here. and everything about this is pretty cool. Aside from the fact that all the extras- good or bad- look completely interchangeable (I couldn’t tell them apart in any way), the fights are fun, well paced, and each major player gets one big, cool moment to shine, which is nice.

The ending, which happens either later half of day Seven, or a whole other day, is really sweet. Lancelot and Guinevere are together, with Galahad and Dindrane, at the lake where Arthur was put to rest. After some back and forth, it is decided that Lancelot is a great champion, but not so much a leader, thus Galahad shall be king. He, of course, chooses his queen- Dindrane! Then he throws Excalibur to the lake, where it sinks to the bottom, hilt up, next to the ashen remains of Arthurs pyre boat. Glow of magic, fade out. That ending is awesome!

The plot may be swiss cheese, with galaxy sized timeline issues, bad acting from the supporting players, poorly integrated CGI, and cheap looking sets, but its never, ever dull, as each one of those elements is amusing. Add to that enjoyment, the solid lead actors, the cool and impressively detailed dragon design, the quippy dialogue, endearing ending, and refreshingly original take on very old material, and I promise, you’ll never be bored. Greatly recommended if you are really into high fantasy, and want something different and don’t mind some camp.