Hansel And Gretel Review by Bobby LePire. Edited by Courtney McAllister.

 

Before Anthony Ferrante hit the big time with the “Sharknado” franchise, he worked as a special makeup effects supervisor, a screenwriter (including the fun “Attila”), as well as having other directorial titles to his name. His first directing gig for The Asylum, released earlier the same year as the first “Sharknado” (2013), was a modern day, full fledged horror take on “Hansel And Gretel” (the studio’s tie-in to “Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters”). Did listing Ferrante’s previous jobs have a point? Is the movie scary?

 

The broad strokes of the fairy tale are intact, but the specifics have changed a bit:

Lilith (Dee Wallace) runs ‘The Gingerbread House’, home of her world famous meat pies, in the small town of Candlewood. Gretel (Stephanie Greco) is employed there, while her twin brother, Hansel (Brent Lydic), plays videogames all day. At a family dinner with their dad (Steve Hanks) and soon-to-be stepmom (Trish Coren), an argument breaks out. Hansel flees to the forest, and gets caught in a bear trap. Gretel chases after him, and then helps him to the closest house, so they can call for an ambulance. The house belongs to Lilith, and she seems to offer the teens help, and that’s where things get crazy! What are her real motivations? Who are the big, burly men torturing captives after feeding them all the sweets?

 

Ferrante’s time working on other horror movies, especially as special creative make-up supervisor, has paid some pretty big dividends here. There’s gore within the first thirty seconds- a victim is trying to break out of her cell, and in clawing at the wooden planks, her fingernails start to fall off- and never lets up. Which fine, it’s a horror film after all, isn’t that what genre fans want? It is, it most definitely is! Here’s the unique thing- if any of that gore, blood, viscera, maimings, or torturings (the movie fares just this side of torture porn at times) are CGI, I’d be very surprised! Everything appears to be practical, which helps this deliver the thrills and chills, as there’s no rubbery looking CGI to take you out of the film (I still hate you, prequel/ remake of “The Thing”. I shall always hate you). Makeup effects artists Gage Hubbard and Brittany Fontaine, along with their talented team, have done some really impressive work, and should be damn proud of it.

 

Not to imply that Ferrante rests on his laurels and lets the impressive effects do all the heavy lifting- quite the opposite. He keeps things moving right along, and does a nice job of playing things in town stylistically different from Lilith’s house in the woods, and its basement, where most of the truly fucked up things happen. While I’d never state that things are truly mysterious- this movie is one of the best examples of dramatic irony I have seen in awhile, thanks to some clever editing (for some reason, so many theatrical releases have no idea how to handle that kind of thing, and it routinely ruins their plots)- but it doesn’t spell everything out for the audience, forcing us to make connections for ourselves. Even the ending, which is left open for a sequel, never ties everything up, nor spoon feeds us. The editing, aside from being clever, is very good, without any hyperactivate cuts, nor do the shots last so long they lose their momentum.

 

As good as all that is, without a doubt, the best thing about this film is the beautiful cinematography! I have said it elsewhere, and believe it bears repeating, this is one of The Asylum’s best looking movies. Director of photography Ben Demaree establishes an atmospheric and creepy vibe from the outset- the girl’s nail falling off is framed and shot in a way so we can see every bit of gory detail, while still looking enticing. The woods aren’t fog drenched at night, which may be a small detail, but it gives the film its own identity. My favorite shot though is a dramatic pullback during a magic-induced hallucination wherein Hansel eats himself! Hansel eats himself! This is how one spins an old tale into something new! Back on track- the shot follows Hansel as he pulls his guts out, crawls toward the disembodied voice of Gretel, and the camera pulls back to reveal that his intestines are ensnared on the gnarled edge of a destroyed wooden plank. The camera angles, the pacing, and the gory, bloody, gooeyness of it all make for some very messed up fun. It’s an excellent looking moment, that delivers on everything horror fans want.

 

The score helps immeasurably! Alan Howarth- yeah, that Alan Howarth of the brilliant “They Live” and the hilarious “Big Trouble In Little Children”- composed the score here, and it is excellent. Never overbearing, it helps underscore the eeriness of the proceedings. In the best use of music, Lilith is back at the bakery, trying to get control of the situation (Hansel and other victims have escaped their cells), when a young deputy comes knocking to ask about any information she may have about the twins missing. Lilith tries to dissuade the cop from looking into it any further, and when that fails, she bashes him upside the head. The music elevates the scene from predictable, to a legitimately scary moment, all thanks to starting off small and then crescendoing in just the right way once Lilith hits the policeman.

 

Brent Lydic starts off too whiny for his own good. He doesn’t sound natural or convincing as a spoiled brat. Thankfully, from the time his leg is injured, and throughout the rest of the film, the more heroic Hansel needs to become, the better Lydic is. At the end, comforting his sister, he finds an emotional honesty that was missing when he has to tell off his father because the dad got engaged. Stephanie Greco is charming as Gretel, with her innocent demeanor hiding a more vile spirit, and she plays her ultimate test between the two (the climax of the movie), very well.

 

The biggest name in the cast is the prolific Dee Wallace. She’s creepy and menacing for the most part. She plays everything over-the-top, and once shit hits the fan, that really works; however, during the quieter moments it seems off. Saying it’s forced isn’t quite accurate, but`her playing everything big does hamper when the truly big moments need to be paid off. Except for when she yells at Hansel, “Sit still, or I’ll cut off your balls and make you watch!” That line is pure, psychotic poetry, perfectly yelled by a consummate professional. The supporting cast is quite able, and serve the movie well.

 

A few issues aside- magic causes massive explosions, apparently- this movie is tons of fun. It’s horrific when it needs to be, with plenty of practical gore, a swift pace, intense editing, solid acting, and spectacular cinematography. The Gingerbread Men song “Life Is Sweet” playing over the credits just proves that this movie knows exactly what it is and happily goes full tilt crazy.