Lake Placid 3 Review by Bobby LePire. Edited by Courtney McAllister.

 

Yet again, it is time to revisit Black Lake for “Creature Feature Month”. The third installment of the “Lake Placid” franchise came three years after the second, and sees exactly zero people return for it. This includes not just the cast (and characters they played), but the bigger behind the scenes folks as well. Can the ridiculous premise of these films survive for a third round? Does the revolving door of cast and crew members help ignite a fresh take on the proceedings, or does it reek of half baked leftovers?

 

Set only one year after the second film, the story hits all the predictable notes-

Nathan Bickerman (Colin Ferguson), son of Dolores, and nephew to Sadie, his wife Susan (Kristy Mitchell), and son Connor (Jordan Grehs), have come to Aroostook County to fix up the old family home to sell it. While there, they are convinced, in part by Sheriff Tony Willinger (Michael Ironside), to stay in town. Two years later, Connor is caught stealing meat from a grocery store, which means he can’t feed the crocodiles he has befriended, so they begin a killing spree. Meanwhile, four college students- Ellie (Kacey Barnfield), Tara (Angelica Penn), Aaron (Nils Hognestad), and Charlie (Brian Landon)- are out hiking, as Ellie’s boyfriend Brett (Mark Evans), hires hunter Reba (Yancy Butler), to help him find her, since Aaron conned her into going under false pretenses. What’s with the Bickerman family’s bond with the crocs? How many of these characters are just fodder?

 

This was writer, David Reed’s, very first screenplay, and while there are good moments, it certainly shows. The biggest issue is the lack of memorable supporting characters, this series’s bread and butter until now. The main characters would be the Bickerman family, and aside from Yancy Butler’s Reba, all the rest of the characters are either so annoying that you can’t wait for them all die, or so bland you’ll be hard pressed to remember them at all. The Bickerman’s babysitter Vica (Bianca Ilich), is the worst offender here- she frames Connor as a smoker, she fails at babysitting him (which is how he was able to sneak off and attempt to steal meat), at one point she literally locks them out of their own home. I am all for creating certain characters that the audience will root for to get eaten- we need a body count in movies like this after all- but there’s a line between just annoying enough to want to see die, and active loathing. Active loathing means the scenes with that character aren’t even fun, which drags the whole movie down. And since she survives well past her welcome, more of the movie is hard to get through than it should be.

 

While Vica is the most egregious example of this, there are others. All the college kids are morons- I can’t name a single thing Tara or Charlie do, aside from eventually get eaten, Aaron is a lying asshole, Ellie immediately trusts Aaron for no apparent reason, rather than talking to Brett about what he actually said (because couples in action movies are incapable of discussing their relationship in a realistic way), and Brett is so insecure, that he hires someone to track Ellie down for him. And Connor does everything he shouldn’t- he is told to not play by the lake as it could be dangerous, but does anyway. Which is how he starts feeding the crocs (why a seven year old thinks that is a good idea makes no sense), and even two years later, seems to have made no friends. This whole world is hard to believe, if just for that point. That stretches incredulity well past its breaking point.

 

But there are good things- Nathan’s motivations consistently make sense, and his relationship with his wife and child is well thought out. Kristy gets some nice moments, and between her, Nathan, and Connor, they feel like a real family. And then there’s Reba! This character is badass awesome, and her scenes really do elevate the whole production. No bull taking, hard riding hunter/ tracker, she gets some amazing lines-
 

“How about you two load your gear into my truck? It’s the big one out front. Boat on the back, gun rack up front, mildly offensive bumper sticker.”

and

“I’m afraid that I have to ban you from ever participating in one of my hunting expeditions ever again. Something in the contract about not blowing holes in the guide.”

 

And then there’s just the sheer amount of carnage. Neither of the other two movies skimped on this area, as they set up the basics within thirty minutes, then got straight to the gore. But here, it is almost a non-stop barrage of croc slayings, which is a major point in the movie’s favor.

 

Director (and occasionally awesome actor) Griff Furst stages the various action beats in a surprising number of ways- an amazing underwater fight, that while the CGI is dodgy on, is so much fun to watch, and different enough from all previous films fights to really standout. There is a fun chase in a grocery store, that works as both a comedic setpiece and an action one. But of course, most of the killings happen on and/ or near the lake, and they are fine. But an attack on the old Bickerman home is very disappointing, as it seems the crocs are moving too slowly for our leads to not not be able to escape.

 

This is pretty indicative of the majority of the technical issues on this production. Despite some badass moments, there is never much in the way of urgency. Which is odd, as the movie’s pacing isn’t all that glacial. But there’s a distinct lack of thrills, despite the actual number of bang for your buck sequences. No one felt like they were ever in danger, and even if they had, most of the characters aren’t worth rooting for. There is an exception, and that is the aforementioned underwater fight- Reba gets pulled under and fights a crocodile with her knife. The camera is tilted up toward her, so the audience is beneath the waves with her. The sky above becomes an inky black thanks to smoke from the boat that’s on fire. It is the only time genuine awe came to me.

 

A lot of that probably  comes down to the look of the crocodiles themselves. The Georgis Kraev and Dimitrov’s special effects are kind of bad. The underwater scene, as cool as it is, is obvious greenscreen, and the crocodiles walk on land quite clumsily. Underwater, they look better, but they move their front legs (which design-wise, look a lot like arms), in a very unnatural and awkward fashion. Sadly, this means they are hard to take as a serious threat.

 

Colin Ferguson makes for an effable and charming leading man. Kristy Mitchell is good as his put upon wife. Michael Ironside makes the most of his role as sheriff, being as Ironside-y as ever. But the real showstealer here is Yancy Butler; not only is her character the one with the best writing, but damn if she doesn’t throw her all into, and every scene she’s in is elevated thanks to that. Sadly though, this is where the good acting stops. Jordan Grehs isn’t bad, but he can’t overcome the horrendously frustrating writing given to him. And as Brett, Mark Evans is more bland than anything else. Everyone else sucks, a lot, with the worst of the bunch being Bianca Ilich. Every line out of her mouth is a jackhammer to the eardrum that threatens to shatter it. She pronounces each syllable as if she just found out she could make noises with her vocal chords, but has no idea what the screeches she’s emanating mean. She’s a chore, and she bogs the movie’s momentum (when it does have some) to a grinding halt. That this movie has been her first and only credit since is no surprise to me.

 

The action beats are different (for the most part), the music is pretty good, and Yancy Butler owns it all! Happily, she comes back for the next two films. But, the acting from half the cast is bad, and there are no entertainingly quirky side characters. While not terrible, it is a disappointment, but with the right set of expectations, you can still find some fun here.