The trailer for the new Asylum disaster thriller, “Martian Land”, led me to believe that a supernatural or malevolent storm would be causing havoc. So, imagine my surprise upon the first viewing, when the movie turned out to just be a disaster movie… on Mars. This is why I usually watch the movies I review twice- once to get a feel for the movie, what will happen, etc; second time to take notes, but also to see if I missed anything that either brings the movie up, or knocks it down (some exceptions exist to this, and those are mostly ones I have a hard visceral, revolting reaction to; movies I hate on a molecular level). So, did a second time through improve things? For the most part, yes, but there are some issues that really hold it back from being one of the best offerings the studio has to offer.

 

As stated, it is a disaster movie, just on a different planet-

In the far flung future, 99% of humanity has left Earth- due to how inhospitable it has become- to colonize Mars. Years later, a once dormant volcano begins to spew ash, which creates a giant ash cloud/ sandstorm that is devastating the colonies. Scientific director Miranda (Jennifer Dorogi) decides to bring in her ex-husband, Foster (Lane Townsend), from Earth to help stop the storm. He is teamed with pilot Neil (Alan Pietruszewski), Miranda’s current romantic interest. Meanwhile, Miranda and Foster’s daughter, Ellie (Arianna Asfar) and her significant other, Ida (Chloe Farnsworth), get trapped in the underground tunnels used for travel between the colonies. All the while, military commander Reiger (Dionne Neish) is battling the scientific director on everything she wants to do, at all times (I don’t get why, at all. In the least). Can the parents save their child? Will the storm be stopped before destroying all of Mars? Why are all the colonies on Mars named after major American cities on Earth?

Let us start with the flaws, smallest one first- for some reason, screenwriter Jeremy M. Inman (“Avengers Grimm”) named all the Mars colonies after major Earth cities. This means we get MNY, aka Mars New York, and MLA, aka Mars Los Angeles, so on and so forth. I am not sure if it was meant to be an odd joke that didn’t pan out, or sheer laziness, but it is a bit distracting. Again, this is not a large issue at all, more of an odd one.

The big issue is Reiger and the actress playing her, Dionne Neish. Reiger’s motivations are never explored, explained, and/ or made sense of. She simply believes that an evacuation is enough to keep everyone safe, despite the mountains and mountains of evidence that the storm will destroy the colonies’ domes, rendering them uninhabitable. On top of that, she gives Foster and Neil no time to implement their plan, nor any time to prove that it is effective and working. Again, all of this is happening for no discernable reason. There is an offhanded comment made about the last time Reiger trusted Miranda people died, but it is never explained or shown beyond that one line.

 

Perhaps if Ms. Neish was a better actress, this wouldn’t have been so grating, but holy fuck, she is terrible. I am talking super early, shot on shitteo Asylum bad (ie- “Vampires vs. Zombies” & “Scarecrow Slayer”). Since about 2010, The Asylum has stepped up their game in several ways, which includes the general acting ability of main and major supporting characters (ie- “Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes” & “Jack The Giant Killer”). To see them regress to something they moved past half a decade ago (hell, acting this bad, probably a full ten years ago), is sad. She just sounds like someone playing soldier, and not an actual one. Her yelling is hilarious, as I was unaware one could sound so fake angry and still be called an actress. Plus her stiff, awkward, anti-chemistry with each and every person she interacts with is some Gareth Edwards level of pure fucking awful (that man couldn’t direct an actor out of bed, much less in a movie). You cut her entire role out (thus, getting rid of the terrible acting), and plotholes would disappear, and the movie would improve at least twenty fold.

Lane Townsend, as Foster, the “smartest man on Earth”, is very good. He’s quite charming, even when he is being the biggest braggart around, and this is in part due to how funny he is. Townsend gets a lot of funny lines and reactions, which makes him instantly likable. His chemistry with his major co-stars is high, and he delivers the dramatic stuff at the end believably. As Neil, Alan Pietruszewski is equally as good. He is the more serious of the two, but he is solid, and delivers the technobabble with verve. Jennifer Dorogi is impressive as the put upon, and hopelessly exasperated Miranda. Her desperation in wanting to find her daughter is palpable, and her growing concern over the storm feels real.

However, my favorite performance comes from Arianna Asfar as Ellie. She is spunky, fun, quirky, and really good. You root for her easily, and when she has to science some shit, she comes across as smart enough to do it. Her partner, Chloe Farnsworth is just as good, and the two have great chemistry. Chaim Dunbar plays an important role as the right hand man to Reiger, and he is fun, and a last minute turn is sold well. Caroline Williams plays a semi-important and humorous role as a Russian (?) botanist, Ulyana, that gets roped into helping set up an emitter. She is quite fun, with excellent deadpan delivery.

Aside from the whole naming cities thing, Inman’s script is a lot of fun. The movie has a great sense of humor, such as the scene where we are introduced to Ulyana, or when Foster’s Triangle gets named. The humor never undermines the seriousness of the overall plot, but it helps the movie gain an identity beyond mere “disaster movie in space”. He also wrote in a good number of varied action beats, so nothing feels repetitive, but he does stick to the crisis brings families back together trope that seems unavailable in such movies.

 

The action is well filmed, and exciting. An intense moment with the storm in a tunnel is expertly edited, and is exciting. The destruction of the first dome is good, but the highlight is a chase sequence, of sorts. Neil and Foster are trying to outrun the storm, so their hovercar won’t get demolished, and they do so by heading to a trench, and falling over the side. There is a good sense of speed, and the camera follows the craft down as it falls, eventually overtaking it, and then turns so we look up at the vehicle. It is a bold and cool shot for such a low budget, and shows the energy and care that went into the production.
 

Director Scott Wheeler,the man behind The Asylum’s own “Journey To The Center Of The Earth” and “Transmorphers: Fall Of Man”, keeps things chugging along very well. As just discussed, the action is fun, but more importantly, Wheeler keeps the tone intact. All those humorous bits fit nicely into the serious bits, so nothing feels shortchanged. The cinematography by Asylum regular (and a good director in his own right) Mark Atkins, has a nice depth of field, so the Martian landscapes look alien and surreal. The editing, also by Atkins, along with Ryan Mitchelle and Erica Steele, is good. The CGI is entirely average, so not too bad, but they have done better.

When watching this movie, be wary of any and all scenes involving Dionne Neish’s Reiger, they are completely unbearable. Despite that huge damned misstep, “Martian Land” proves to be fun and exciting, with an impressive range of action, even when the movie falls into a cliche or two.