Mercenaries Review by Bobby LePire. Edited by Courtney McAllister.

 

So, about six months into our relationship my (now) wife and I went to see “The Expendables” in theaters. As pumped as I was for it (based on Stallone’s usually impressive writing and directing abilities), it truly was one of the worst action films ever made; its two sequels are equally dreadful. Christopher Olen Ray’s “Mercenaries” is The Asylum’s tie-in to the third movie in that theatrical franchise. Is it as frustratingly stupid, talky, and pointless as they are? Or did The Asylum, once again, create a mockbuster legitimately better than its bigger budget counterpart?

 

The plot is lean, mean, and never lets up:

During a goodwill tour of Kazakhstan, the president’s daughter, Elise (Tiffany Panhilason), is kidnapped by terrorist leader Ulrika (Brigitte Nielsen). CIA operatives Mona (freaking Cynthia Rothrock!) and Bobby (Gerald Webb) formulate a plan to save the First Daughter, by gathering the best infiltration experts they can… all of whom are in jail for one reason or another! There’s de facto leader Cassandra (Zoe Bell), demolitions expert Mei-Lin (Nicole Bilderback), security systems specialist Kat (Kristina Morgan), and gun crazed ex-operative Raven (Vivica A. Fox). They are offered full pardons if they successfully complete the rescue. With sassy native teen Lexi (Alexis Raich) in tow, our group of mercenaries must now figure out how to best infiltrate the terrorist cell and extract themselves with minimal casualties. Are they successful? Do they all live?

 

Christopher Olen Ray, son of infamous (and awesome) exploitation stalwart Fred, has directed a dozen or so low budget movies; most of them for The Asylum. “Mercenaries” is his best movie, to date, by a decent margin at that. Everything he’s done (with one exception) has been very fun, but this is really great, with excellent action choreography and an amazing sense of style. The action beats arrive early and rarely let up. Thankyfully the movie never gets too talky, with nary five minutes passing without some sort of action (hijacking a truck, a chase scene for an important piece of equipment, etc.) going on. Thanks to the efficiency of Edward DeRuiter’s tight script all the motivations for each character are clear, easily identifiable, and nothing left me scratching my head as to what it meant- you hear that, motherfucking “Expendables”? Why does painting, an activity the dictator is seen enjoying, “begin” anything? And what the hell is that something? Agggghhhhh!

 

Sorry, I just hate that series so much! Let’s get back on track, shall we:

 

Alexander Yellen’s excellent cinematography help the movie overcome its low budget roots, by having some fun with depth of field and never settling for just the dusty palette of the main setting. And thankfully, shay cam isn’t employed here, meaning everything onscreen can be viewed without getting headaches, yay! The editing by Maureen Murphy and Bobby Richardson is never too quick, so no scenes feel like they are just randomly over. The introduction to the heroines in their respective prisons, and then being taken to a darkened room and offered the deal, find a rhythm for the movie that it keeps in tone and pace, which makes everything feel pretty intense.

 

And of course, what would an Asylum movie be without Chris Ridenhour composing the score? A lot worse off, obviously. It’s become so commonplace for myself, and other critics of Asylum movies, to point out how great his scores constantly are, but let’s not just take them for granted. His scores are constantly impressive, always adding a new level of immersion that help push Asylum’s output out in front of the rest of the low budget fare coming out every week (not to imply those can’t be just as good or better; they just don’t quite have the same kind of following).

 

Ahh, the lovely, deadly, very funny Ms. Zoe Bell, what can’t you do? She started off as a stuntwoman, mostly famously on the “Kill Bill” movies, and has had a solid amount of acting credits as well. While her role here doesn’t utilize everything she’s capable of, it does ask her to do quite a few stunts, which is what we all came to see. She is very good at her job, and as always, having long takes where it is obvious the actors themselves are doing their own fights, etc., is just another way to keep the audience engaged, and hiring folks known for that sort of thing just ensures that engagement even further. Kristanna Loken is clearly having fun, and that playfulness translates well onto the camera. And once again, seeing her back in action is gratifying.

 

Vivica A. Fox is quite believable as wild card Raven, as she gives an unhinged performance, full of manic energy and an “I don’t give a shit” attitude, akin to Gibson in the first “Lethal Weapon”. She’s a joy to watch be so balls to the wall crazy, and a late-in-the-game shift is much easier to swallow thanks to her performance. Nicole Bilderback, rounding out our quartet of kickass heroines, really surprised me with her whip smart brains and fighting prowess- despite being in prison for a little while, she’s still entirely up to date on the latest in blowing up technology- and that completely works, due in large part to her performance.

 

Cynthia Rothrock doesn’t have a huge role as the group’s handler, and only gets a small action moment when attempting to detain Raven before the bargain is struck. But it is always a pleasure to see the queen of b-movie martial movies in action. Tim Abell as Ulrika’s second-in-command, and the only man she truly trusts, is pretty fun and holds his own during the big, ending shootout. Alexis Raich’s character could have been very annoying, and there are times where that almost happens- mostly in her introduction- but Raich manages to bring a lot of empathy and spunk to the pre-teen, that makes her feel realistic. Brigitte Nielsen is having a grand old time playing the main bad guy, and chews scenery throughout with gusto and charm, in equal measure. She’s fairly formidable, and a fight in the cargo deck of a plane is probably the coolest action number in the movie.

 

That particular fight sees Ulrika going against Cassandra and Kat, in a last ditch attempt to ensure no one succeeds, in a military plane that has already taken off. The close quarters ensures that the audience sees the actresses are clearly doing (much of, probably all of) their own stunt work. Using the spare props found in the unloaded cargo area, such as ropes, etc., adds a nice variety to the gunplay seen throughout. Kat gets kicked out of the open bay door, and grabs onto a chain restraint tailing the plane- it’s pretty badass and cool stunt. Cassandra attacks the terrorist leader with everything she’s got, and Ulrika is matching blow for blow. To find out who wins, watch the movie.

Everything about this movie works like gangbusters! The action is well done and exciting, the actresses all deliver good performances, there’s a solid sense of style, and every character motivation makes sense. If you are looking for an all female-led badass actioner (because seriously, Hollywood, is it that hard to do?), just a good action movie you haven’t seen yet, or are a big fan of anyone involved, this comes highly recommended!