Muck Review by Bobby LePire. Edited by Courtney McAllister.

 

The horror genre probably sees the most low budget, DTDVD releases a year. This is in large part thanks to how easy it can be to place a horror movie in a single location (or just a very few), and that decent looking fake blood isn’t too expensive to create. It is also due to the fact that horrorhounds are always looking for something that’s genuinely frightening and/ or creepy, as mainstream horror isn’t always up to snuff (“Oujia” anybody?). One of the latest forays into the DTDVD pantheon is Steve Wolsh’s “Muck”.

 

So, I am just going to write, verbatim, what is on the back of the DVD so you know how the movie is being sold, and convinced me to buy it blind:
‘This throwback horror film just raised the hacked-up bar: Horror legend Kane Hodder and Playboy Playmate of the Year 2012 Jaclyn Swedberg star in this scary, sexy, indie shocker that joins a group of friends just as they emerge from the thick, murky darkness of the marshes tattered, bloody, and lucky to be alive. But they will soon find out that the luck ones are already dead. “Muck” is packed with old-school gore effects and brutal stunts, without any CGI or apologies. Lachlan Buchanan co-stars in writer/ director Steve Wolsh’s searing directorial debut that unfolds like a blood-stained love letter to horror fanatics everywhere!’

 

As you just read above, the movie does start in media res with about half of our protagonists seriously injured, and a slew of their friends killed off before the movie begins. This is a very interesting choice, because it avoids a number of cliches that would be present in most other horror movies, as this skips over what most horror movies would spend the bulk of their time on. But this does present its own issues, as the villainous creatures and why they are attacking are not explained in the slightest. Did our heroes stumble upon the creatures’ lair and interrupt feeding time? Accidentally kill one? Are these humanoid mutant things simply hungry animals going after their prey (it should be noted, they can use simple tools and operate light switches)? Are they mutated humans taking offense to these humans in their territory?

I don’t want a movie to explain away everything, hold my hand, talk down to me, treat me like an idiot, or patronize me, but motivation is important. Freddy Kruger wants revenge, Michael Meyers is certifiably insane, and knowing if these creatures are more feral, hungry beasts, or if they are some kind of human- like the “Wrong Turn” franchise- would add a layer to the killings, that without, makes them just random acts of murder by things. If that is the case, then Miss Cape Cod 2013’s death would have still happened,  and all of the very few residents on the outskirts of the forest and marsh (there are only about four houses) would also be killed. Which begs the question, if the creatures are beasts, how/ why have they not been hunted down and exterminated? So, I guess that rules out one of the options. Which just proves my point- I found it hard to get into it all, without having even the slightest semblance of who/ what these things were and why they wanted to dismember our heroes so.

 

The fact that this hits the ground running (literally) also means that the introduction to our fodder for the evening is a bit awkward at first. The teens all come scrambling out of the woods, injured, dirty, cold, and terrified. They then begin to argue and fight, as tensions are high, which involves a lot of yelling at each other. For the first eight-ish minutes, it’s pretty damn hard to know who is who, and even harder to know why you should care about these guys (seriously, what if they killed one of the creatures’ young ones, and thus the whole thing is revenge amped up to 11), as they are all equally obnoxious yellers. Thankfully, once everyone settles into the broken into house, things smooth out a bit.

 

And the last issue I have with the movie is that every now and then, for reasons I can’t quite figure out, the editing gets very frantic and quick, making a small handful of scenes jumbled. At times, I understand why this was done- there’s a car wreck signifying the beginning of the third act, and having the camera zooming closer and closer with each edit is a pretty effective way of hiding the rigs and armatures used to flip the car over. But earlier in the movie, about fifteen minutes in, there’s a scene where one of the ladies goes to have a shower because she’s covered in grime, blisters, small cuts, and bruises. As she’s prepping, we cut away to the slightly ajar bathroom door, and then cut back to her, then again to the door, slightly closer, repeat, until a hand closes the door. I don’t get this scene. I don’t get this scene at all- A) there’s no scare there, not even a jump scare (thankfully, the movie is largely devoid of those); B) I realize it is meant to be her hand, but as the sequence plays out, I was unsure if it was her hand, one of the creatures’ hand, or that of a peeping tom. To do that kind of editing, setting it up for a payoff of some kind, and then all we get is the door closing isn’t subverting expectations, it’s just taking the piss.

 

Since figuring out the characters was a tad jumbled at first, here’s a handy dandy guide to them:

• Noah (Bryce Draper)- caring friend and boyfriend, leader by default, runs several miles to find help.

• Kylie (Stephanie Danielson)- Noah’s girlfriend, typical ‘final girl’, tries to keep the group sane as possible.

• Dez (Laura Jacobs)- a bitchy friend, who hates Kylie for reasons unknown. Perhaps because they apparently dated for a little while.

• Billy (Grant Alan Ouzts)- Noah’s best friend, severely wounded from the get go, always ready with a snappy quip and/ or comeback.

• Mia (Lauren Francesa)- Best friends with Kylie, made it out of the woods in just her underwear, literally freezing to death.

• Troit (Lachlan Buchanan)- Close cousin to Noah, who is called to come save the day.

• Chandi (Puja Mohindra)- Troit’s best friend for life; they know everything about each other, and have a great time antagonizing one another for it.

• Terra (Jaclyn Swedberg)- a lady Troit picks up at the bar before being called to save his friends’ assess.

• Grawesome Crutal (freaking Kane Hodder)- of all the badass mofo creatures, he is the baddest.

 

Stephanie Danielson has a few spotty line deliveries, especially when she’s trying to convince the others to not break into the house they come across after the opening titles. But, she’s pretty okay overall. Jaclyn Swedberg is always only okay, but she isn’t required to do much aside from looking fine, and that she does very well; she was Playboy Playmate of the Year 2012, so no surprise there. It’s not that these two give particularly bad performances, it’s just that every other major character is acted to perfection, so they can’t help but pale in comparison.

 

Byrce Draper makes for a solid leading man, believably willing to sacrifice his life to save his friends. A late in the game dramatic talk is excellently handled, and shows how much he truly cared. Ouzts can fire a zinger 100mph, and adds some excellent comedic relief to the proceedings; he’s a lot of fun. Francesa sells the terrifying and scary position they wound up in very well, and could have a long career as a modern day scream queen. Lauren Jacobs pulls off the total bitch thing well, and never makes it seem cliche. Kane Hodder doesn’t have any lines, but his hulking frame and haunting eyes are put to good, brutal, death-inducing use.

 

However, it is Mr. Buchanan and Ms. Mohindra who run away with the show. Their interplay sounds so natural and believable that I’d be surprised if these two weren’t real life friends. Buchanan starts the dramatic talk referenced previously, and turns what could have been whiny into something heartbreaking. Mohindra never stops being a strong character, and even after a vicious car wreck and attack, she can still put Buchanan in his place with a moment’s notice. Seriously guys, I want to see these two as leads in a romantic comedy, or as a couple in a dramatic fare, or anything else as long as they get to share the screen! Sincerely, I haven’t seen chemistry this off the damned charts since Matt Damon and Emily Blunt in the stunningly perfect “The Adjustment Bureau” four years ago.

 

Of course, those character moments won’t work at all, no matter how good the acting, if it weren’t for the very well written script. As already discussed, the story/ plot might have some plot holes and issues, but it is still fairly original, which helps stand out from the crowd. But far more importantly, is that writer/ director/ producer Steve Wolsh’s dialogue is crackling and smart. Not a single line feels misplaced, out of order, awkward, pointless, or anything else. Here are a few of my favorite snappy dialogue moments:

Exchange # 1-

Mia- “It says # 7.”

Kylie- “So?”

Mia- “It’s the only fucking house on the street.”

Exchange # 2-

Dez- “There’s vodka, but no phone.”

Kylie- “Which did you look for first?”

Dez- “Lick my clit… oh, wait, we already played that game.”

Billy- (as he’s bleeding out) “Keep talking, I need as many reasons to live as I can get.”

Line # 3

Troit- “Enough questions, or put them in writing.” (after having Terra and Chandi ask him a million questions while getting to his car from the bar)

 

I don’t know if it sounds as good or as fun just reading them, but in context, from these actors’ mouths, it is excellent stuff.

 

Even better than that is Michael Solidum’s striking cinematography. This movie has quite the stylish look, and despite taking place entirely at night, there are no scenes that are too dark to see what’s happening (except one, which is the point of that particular scene; we see the aftermath). Each frame is dripping in creeptastic atmosphere, adding an eerie layer to the already unsettling nature of what’s going on.

 

The score is just okay, with it being a more typical modern horror score- lots of guitar riffs, rock songs, drums, etc. I think the use of a more traditionally classic orchestral score could have made this feel entirely timeless. Ben Bornstein’s makeup effects are to die for. The creatures look gnarly and grotesque, which is the point, and given the low budget, I am very impressed that they were able to pull it off on so many creatures (at least half a dozen). The practical gore effects and massive blood splatter gives the dark of night some nice flashes of color, and look truly great. It also adds a layer of unsettling creepiness that CGI can’t really replicate.

 

If you are a hardcore horror fan, just go pick this up as soon as you can, it is only $10 on DVD and just a few dollars more for the blu-ray. It delivers everything you’ll be looking for in a good, scary, bloody flick- cool bad guys, snappy dialogue, characters you want to see survive, and gratuitous nudity (seriously, gratuitous nudity). If you are a bit more on the fence, know that the story is flawed, and never fully envelops you the way it should as motivations are scarcely brought up, but just about everything else is damned near gold. Steve Wolsh has made a very fun, very cool debut and I thoroughly look forward to his next picture.