Reptilicus Review by Bobby LePire. Edited by Courtney McAllister.

 

After the resounding success of “Godzilla”, other Japanese studios weren’t the only ones to get in on the action. 1957 saw the release of “20 Million Miles To Earth”- perhaps one of the best known movies of its kind- with its Godzilla-esque creature. The UK had the one-two punch with “Gorgo” and “Konga”. So it shouldn’t be much of a surprise that in 1961, Denmark entered the scene as well. How did “Reptilicus” age? Is it as fun as similar movies from the same time period?

The plot is standard giant monster movie fare-

Coal miners drill into something that messes with the drill, and when they pull it up, it is covered in blood. As they search for the cause, they discover a frozen reptile tail. It is flown to Copenhagen where doctors Martens (Asbjorn Andersen) and Dalby (Poul WIldaker) are studying it. Late that night, Dalby falls asleep, and leaves the tail out on the examination table all night. This allows it to spring back to life, and it slowly regenerates into the giant monster Reptilicus. Can Captain Brandt (Ole Wisborg) and Connie Miller (Marla Behrens) figure out a way to stop the creature before its rampage kills thousands?

 

**For the record, this is a review of the English language version; shot in conjunction with the Danish one**

Let’s start off with the positives, shall we? The actors all do alright, with Andersen and Wisborg really bringing a lot of gravitas to their roles. Everyone else is fine, no one did an especially poor job, just they are the only two who really standout.

 

The score by Lee Baxter and Sven Glydmark is incredible, and really the only truly, amazing and noteworthy thing about the movie. The score is very elegant, and dare I say, even classy. The ominous low strings when the military realizes how ineffectual their attacks are, and the thundering return of drums when Reptilicus strikes afterwards is very pulse pounding. If this score were on a better movie, I do think it’d be talked about in the same breath as the original “Godzilla” score (which is better), or “The Day The Earth Stood Still”.

So, it is a damn shame that all that epic music is set to a movie so remarkably bland. This movie’s biggest downfall is how competent it is. It is made just well enough to avoid being a so bad, it’s good contender in any way, shape, or form. But, there is nothing striking about it (save for the music), so nothing about the movie stands out in any meaningful way.

 

The characters are boring, with each just being a cliche, and doing the exact things you expect them to, exactly when you’d expect them to. Hell, there’s barely an arc for anyone to go through.

As per every military operation ever in movies like this, even when they know guns won’t work, they still put their guys in harm’s way. Which I would be okay with, if they didn’t prove themselves stupider than that- even when they know bombs are ineffective, they still hatch a plan to use bombs. How in the…? What in the…? Bloody idiots hurt my brain.

Sidney Pink’s direction really doesn’t go beyond “is it in focus? Good”. There is no style, which could have saved the movie from its paint by the numbers script. Although to be fair to Pink, the studio did extensive reshoots without him, prompting a lawsuit from Pink.

But, what about the creature? What about Reptilicus? Can he salvage any of this? Sadly, no, no he cannot. It’s not that it looks bad- the colors are bold, it grows to a nice, large size, and attacks a lot, but age hasn’t been too kind to it. Something that has nothing to do with time is how jerky its movements are. Considering it has such a long neck, one would think the filmmakers would have found a way to move it realistically, but nope. Ymir, from “20 Million Miles To Earth” still creates tension because it has weight and moves well (for the most part) even now. The enlarged projections of the titular “Giant Gila Monster” might be silly as hell, but it moves well, thus still creating the illusion of danger. That illusion- you know, the whole thing movies are predicated on- never exists here, which makes for a completely unengaging, and often lackluster viewing.

Are there worse kaiju movies? Absolutely! One needs to look no further back than 2014 and Gareth Edwards’ pigfaced bunghole of a debacle called “Godzilla (2014)” to see the answer to that question (to be fair, that is one of the worst movies all time, so of course “Reptilicus” couldn’t compete).

 

However, there aren’t as many that frustrate me this much- there is very little actually wrong, aside from cliches. The shots are clear, there is a decent amount of monster action, the acting isn’t half bad considering what they are working with, and then there’s that beautiful, sumptuous score. Unfortunately, all that is wrapped up in a big pile of who gives a shit, because there is no immediacy or thrills, and the story was as stock as they come, even back then. Buy the soundtrack, skip the movie!