Spectral Force Review by Bobby LePire. Edited by Courtney McAllister.

 

Finding any information on this movie, aside from verification that it exists, turned out to be harder than usual; I can’t even find an official listing for the English dubbing voice actors. Upon watching the movie though, I have come to realize that it’s not obscurity that is the problem here. Rather, that all involved feel so much shame for having had a hand in making this a reality, that they must have hired somebody to continually scour the net and erase any mentions as soon as possible. I know if I ever had a hand in something so entertainingly dreadful, I’d do the same; Gareth Edwards should do so to his entire filmography!
 

Reportedly based on a game, of which not one of my numerous hardcore gamer friends have ever mentioned, the plot doesn’t seem so bad, at first glance:

There is a war raging between man and demon, so much so that several expeditions have been mounted to find a fabled sword which can kill the demon king Janus. His half-human daughter Hiro must set aside her prejudice, to ensure peace throughout the land, and to get the help of human mercenaries to stop a corrupt warlord, and a demon seeking revenge to take things over.

 

That sounds sort of cool, and yeah, the basic plot isn’t too shabby. The execution of said story, though, is bloody hilarious! And the most convenient way to make this nonsense sensible is bullet points:

• The movie begins with weird static shots of some female angel/ Jesus person (maybe a demon?) being crucified. Is this what started the war? If so, the movie never tells us that! If this is meant to be a reference to the game (or games?) that were leading up to this point, then bad, movie! That is not how storytelling works! You are telling a standalone original video animation (OVA for short), that happens to be based on the game. You can’t presume the audience has played your game.

• This gives way to a voice over that is stating that all this took place on Earth, eons ago, when it had a different name. That’s just idiotic. Generic fantasy land would have sufficed, but making a pre-cavemen (?) Earth adds nothing.

• A comet is streaking across the night sky. Several folks look up to see it, and then an adventuring party finds the mystical sword that can kill Janus. I think the comet allowed them to find it, but if the comet brought the sword, how were there already stories and quests for the item?

• Human mercenaries are hired to protect Princess Hiro. How did they get this gig since it seems all humans and demons don’t like each other? You will not find answers here!

• The merc group includes a geeky kid in glasses, modern day dress, with a backpack that uses a pistol- a modern pistol! This kid is the only character to use any weapon more advanced than that of the 8th century, and the only to use any non-traditional weapon in an ostensibly traditionally set fantasy. WTF, movie? Is this another game thing? Were you not paying attention earlier?

• Bam! The mercs and Hiro are walking along a road. We are told nothing of their mission, nor do we seem them meet each other (as in the mercs and the princess) for the first time. We just jump right into the middle of something, after hearing that they were hired.

• Back at the castle, the questing party of purple (for reasons unknown, they are all clad in purple), get to the demon king, and manage to kill him. His death is played as a huge, dramatic, and sad event. Isn’t he an oppressive DEMON KING that hates humanity? If not, then why do humans hate demons and vice versa? We barely know this dude, do not try to make me care. Movie, you are remarkably, impressively stupid.

• Princess Hiro and the mercs get back to the castle just in time for Janus to say some last words to his daughter. Then the human mercenaries randomly shoot at the human adventurers that once again, killed a presumably (given context, etc) evil demon king. What? Movie, did you lose a few script pages? Kinda feels that way.

• Flashback time, but to things you certainly will already know/ remember, since they just happened, as we haven’t even hit the thirty minute mark yet! If you can’t remember thirty minutes ago, please see a doctor.

• Princess Hiro meets with a council of demons (just roll with it), and they decide to try to make peace with the humans. Why did Janus- who foresaw his death and accepted it- need to die to make this happen?

• Hiro admits that her dad balanced the needs of humans and demons and sought to keep things civil- so, why are demons hated then? Is it because they look different? Since there are elves, whom are virtually indistinguishable from half-human/ half-demons at least, if no one else, are quite beloved. Listen here, movie, I would just like you to make some kind of sense, or at least have one scene flow into another naturally, not in a way that makes me think the disc has skipped.

• And next comes the moment I gave up/ lost what remains of my sanity/ started laughing my ass off- in a fight with the evil brother of Hiro, the modern day geek yells at his gun. He yells… at his gun; not for it, not repeating work, work, work because it jammed or some such, not yelling while firing it, but actually at it, as if it is alive (much like how I am yelling at the movie through text, which makes that impossible on two levels). Every dumb story turn, unfinished scene, looping CGI background, etc. is totally worth it just to say you experienced the scene where a guy yells at his gun!

• With the evil brother and his accomplice on the run, (yeah not even defeated just retreating from this particular battle) Hiro comes to accept the help of humans, elves, everyone, and thus the movie ends.

 

Wait, what? Where is the actual ending? The brother is still out there? The mystical sword is once again lost? This isn’t how stories end, this is where the last act begins, you know, to complete the arc. The story is nonsense, never bothering to give the audience any indication of one single damn thing going on, and that is why it is so funny! Just at every level, every turn and new development, it gets stupider, so the laughs come harder.

 

It is not any better on a technical level! The characters are all 2D animated, but each background is CGI, and it is the worst CGI I have ever seen in an animated movie! Blocky, untextured, and weirdly still- leaves in trees don’t rustle in the wind, that kind of thing- the whole OVA just looks hideous, and it is gloriously funny. The concrete and mortar walls of the castle appear as smooth as marble, and when people walk through for an extended period of time, the backgrounds just loop themselves over and over again (at one point, this happens five times!). This was released in 1998! 1998! Four years after the still amazing looking “Toy Story”, as well as the still holds up CGI-wise “Casper”, and two years after the ‘OMG! How does it still look this awesome’ that is “Dragonheart”. But, to be fair, those are all big budget, tentpole releases designed to have the best visuals possible at the time. This lower budget anime could never have hoped to touch those. I agree, hypothetical reader, I agree. But here’s a list of anime that was released that same year- “Blue Submarine No. 6”, “El-Hazard”, “Spriggan”, “Initial D”, and oh yeah, just a little show titled “Cowboy Motherfuckin’ Bebop”!

 

Even when those shows don’t look too great nowadays, seventeen years later (looking at you, “Initial D” and your block cars), it is still obvious how it could have looked good then, and that real effort was made in regards to such a thing. Here though, the character designs are minimal, with very limited movement animation drawn throughout. There is a point in which the demon king Janus is talking to his soon to be killer and his lips… don’t move… at freaking all!

 

I have justifiedly shit on this movie, but I hope I also got across how bloody fun it is to sit there and MST3K the everloving hell of it. That is lots of fun, but probably moreso if you turn the movie, story and technical non-skills on display, into a drinking game with friends. Only watch if you can afford the hangover the next day!